Ashley Gets Lost

Last Friday Mr. McNeese and I celebrated 16 years of wedded…bliss? No, not necessarily. I don’t know anyone who has been married for more than a minute than would describe it as entirely blissful, but it’s been a good partnership so far. Pictured above is our two year anniversary and our 16th last weekend.

It has of course had it’s ups and downs, and I am so proud of us for making it through all the downs together as a team. At this point our every day lives are an adventure, but I decided I was interested in taking this adventure somewhere else for the weekend.

We totally based our destination on finding a good air bnb, which ended up being in Palaiochora, an adorable town on a peninsula on the southwest coast of Crete. It’s technically only 60 miles away, but the twisty turny road to get there takes a good couple of hours!

Also whilst packing Cong proved himself to be 100% a real live cat.

Our first stop was the Charma Brewery, conveniently located just off the road we needed to be on. This is by far our favorite beer here on Crete. Some restaurants have it, but not all, and you can’t buy six packs! You can buy 750 ml bottles at some shops, but mostly it’s a treat when we’re out.

It turns out they have SEVEN varieties at their brewery, and a tasting of all seven costs seven euros. So obvs we did that! This was the first four.

We thought we were ordering a snack lunch, but our meats and cheese appetizer, chicken salad, and tzatziki turned out to be a feast! This stop was only about 45 minutes from our house, so we’ll need to take Felix back sometime soon. The beer was great and the food was delicious!

My hair dried frizzy, and yes, my nails still needed fixed. August is the month that Greeks go on vacation, and apparently a lot of them like to come here. My nail lady was booked up, but I’m pleased to report that the situation is now under control. Also it costs 25 Euros to have her remove a shellac manicure and do a new one. Boom!

We eventually made our way to our weekend home, and I’m telling you, I’ve never felt more judged by a toilet in my life. Like these signs are everywhere, but this toilet was disappointed in me? I didn’t put a single square in it, I swear! I took a nap because that’s what I like to do with my life, and then we headed out for fancy cocktails.

Yes, that is a ball of sorbet in my fancy mule.

And then we went out for dinner at an Asian fusion place, and let me tell you, my mouth was absolutely psyched about eating something with a different flavor profile. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the food options here are not very diverse. I’m not at all mad about delicious taverna food or pizza, but I would cut a bitch for some crab rangoons.

We also met this stunning puss. I was in love with her black nose and chin. She was such a sweetheart, and we totally saw her again the next day for some quality pets.

After dinner I got to enjoy the best anniversary present money could buy at this point: two nights in a king sized bed. I did not even realize how much our cozy sleeping situation was impacting our lives until we got to spread out again. Getting a bigger bed is our first order of business as soon as we can afford it.

We got up and spent the next morning at the beach.

Tits out, obvs. There was thunder off in the mountains behind us, and we eventually left after the rain made it’s way to our beach. Then I did what I try to do everyday- take a nap- and then it was cocktail time again.

We had met this luxurious specimen the night before at dinner, and he turned up at the cocktail bar and was psyched to sit in Joshua’s lap. If you must marry a man, try to find one that kitties like. Joshua is adored by cats, dogs, babies, and toddlers- all excellent judges of character.

Then we went and drank a half liter of rose and ate a tureen of super garlicky and delicious tzatziki at a taverna that had this situation outside. What is this palm tree doing? I would like to know it’s final form. Also, the pussy sitch was unreal. There were a couple of big ol orange boys that are probably what Cong is going to look like someday!

In lieu of eating dinner, we decided to drink beers and honey raki (that we thought was going to be wine?) on the roof, and I made Joshua take pictures of me in a sexy suit while holding the lantern that was up there.

On our way home, we stopped by the Ancient Olive Tree of Vouves, which is estimated to be 4000-6000 years old! They can’t tell for sure because the heart wood is all gone, but it’s still alive and making olives!

We stopped at Charma for some to go liters to bring home and were reunited with our creatures, Felix included. I have decided to renew our relationship agreement for the next year.

I haven’t been writing as much because I’ve been max level stressed out about Colorado house business. We have one hurdle to hopefully jump in the next 24 hours or so, and we should be closing on Friday. Please send good vibes if you have any to spare. I am so looking forward to this stressful situation reaching its conclusion. I would love to be sitting on my porch with my tits out without a care in the world. As opposed to this week where I definitely have some cares.

I’m working on a list of things I want to tell ya’ll about. I’m thinking grocery shopping, how I do my laundry (it’s weird, I promise), more weird chips and ice creams by the kilo, how I’m trying to turn getting honked at into a right of passage, etc. Let me know if there’s anything you’ve been wondering about, and I’d be happy to share my experiences!